Did you know:

Towards the end of his rule, Winston Churchill would often punish unruly subordinates by making them wax his balding head. That’s why his scalp was so irresistibly shiny.

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Ronald Reagan had a dark hobby: scaring small children. Reagan took great pleasure in visiting elementary schools; he was known to hide in playgrounds, popping out to frighten children with scary faces. His Secret Service agents would often join in on the fun as well. Reagan used similar tactics to bring the Iranian hostage crisis to a quick end.

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Al Gore also liked to scare children; unlike Reagan, however, he got his kicks from terrifying starving kids in the Third World. Shame on you Gore…. shame on you.

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Abraham Lincoln was a chronic binge drinker. After getting drunk, Lincoln had a horrible habit of going to the local barber shop and insisting on the most ridiculous haircuts offered during the mid 1800s. This habit was believed to be a major source of his wife’s insanity.

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Teddy Roosevelt was proud of his Big Stick. It was one of the reasons he made such a good Rough Rider.

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Secretary of State Henry Kissinger would nourish himself with his own boogers during grueling conferences with foreign leaders. This habit allowed him to secure favorable agreements from his underfed colleagues from different countries in bouts of “diplomatic attrition”.

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Larry King has several illegitimate children. We won’t tell you who the mother is, but we will say that the kids aren’t entirely white.

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. admitted to close friends that he did not really remember his dreams at night.